I wonder if part of the reason I’m not interested in getting married is because of how hard it would be to have a Hindu wedding with a White partner.
The primary reasoning has to do with a lack of necessity: I’m not interested in being part of an oppressive social history, or taking someone else’s name, or even combining bank accounts. All my logical needs are covered, too. I have my own health insurance, I am currently earning a degree that will probably prove profitable, and if it doesn’t, my family will always support me emotionally and if needed, financially.
I know there are emotional reasons for it, like a feeling of closeness or permanency, but I’ve never felt like getting married will make me closer to another person. If anything, I feel closest to someone knowing that they’re making a choice to stay with me every day, and if we needed to add legal ties to that, a POA is probably harder to break in every state than a marriage is in some.
The details get to me, too, though. How do you do the haldi ceremony with one partner having no family familiar enough with the practice to carry it out? Can a bharat be as loud and crazy and exuberant with a family that doesn’t really know what it is? On a personal level, my partner was raised as a Christian but identifies as agnostic: why should I feel compelled to have a Christian ceremony to make his family happy when not only is no one Christian getting married, but I openly dislike Christian marital discourse?
Man, patriarchy, why you gotta keep me down?